My husband (or father or grandfather or brother) has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. What can I do to help, and what do I need to know?

Your support is vital.

The most important action you can take is to give your loved one every support they need. Everyone is frightened when they are first diagnosed, and dozens of questions spring to mind almost immediately, such as: What is this prostate cancer? How long have I got to live? How can I be treated? Can I be cured? How will this affect my life and those around me?… and many more. They won’t always share these questions with you, but they will ask themselves, and you have a role here.

Become an expert

Getting sensible information on these uncertainties is half the battle in coming to terms with the situation, so first of all, help your loved one by researching on their behalf. The internet is a fantastic source of information; you can find all sorts of stuff on every aspect of prostate cancer and other related issues.
You can also call the helpline at Macmillan – 0808 808 00 00 – it’s free and is manned by specialist cancer nurses who can answer all your questions. You can email them or click here for information from their website. Alternatively, you can call the Prostate Cancer Support helpline on 0800 774 7560, manned by prostate cancer patients.

Understand their needs

While all this information gathering goes on, you’ll quickly see the emotional and practical support your loved one needs. Some men will need your close support every step of the way, so – for example, you could offer to go with them when they visit their urologist. Others will internalize the situation and want to handle everything themselves, so let them do it, but still talk with them about what they are thinking. In either case, letting them know how much they are loved and valued will immensely reassure them.

Stay positive

Also important is to keep a positive frame of mind. Stay active, and never brood over the problem. Lead as everyday life as possible–then add all the enjoyment you can to it. Think of all those things you always intended to do but never got around to. Look around for new interests and fun things to do. It’s incredible how you can use this setback as an excuse to transform your quality of life.

Remember, you are important.

Above all, look after yourself. Stay healthy, and don’t take on more than your share of the emotional burden. After all, it’s only by remaining strong yourself that you can give your loved one the support essential to them.

For more information from other men on how they have dealt with their prostate cancer, visit the  You Are Not Alone website.

If you want to find out about a local support group in other areas, try the Tackle website.